I’ve just been to the bank – not this time to get money out, or even put it in, but to “sort out my accounts”. Which is to say, work out which ones need closing, what needs opening and all that kind of thing.
I hate doing this – not just because they ask me impossible questions like “how much do you earn?” (thought it has to be said that the splendid woman who interviewed me this morning, on seeing my look of panic when faced with this question modified it to “how much goes into your account each month?” – and wasn’t phased when I said I could answer that, but only if we look at my bank statement to see….) But it is also because there is this deep-seated fear of “getting it wrong”.
I’m not sure what it is I fear “getting wrong” in this instance. After all, I am not in debt, and I am not asking to borrow anything.
But still – I remain deeply scared (and grateful to Beloved Other who comes along and answers the hard questions)
I can’t really make sense of it; I am not stupid, everybody is always very nice, and there are no problems to speak of.
Maybe one day, I’ll be grown up enough to understand……