I am on holiday for a week. I always look forward to such times. The they arrive, and I discover I actually have to do it – be on holiday.
The emphasis here should fall on the “be”.
This is what the holiday is for – to be.
Not to expend energy trying to rewrite the last few days, weeks, or my life.
Not to invest energy in trying to control what will come by being anxious about it.
To “be” on holiday.
Here, now, with this person.
As so often, I am more grateful than I have words for for Beloved Other. He is patient with my maunderings, laughs me out of my self indulgent overthinking, and is an example in how to be. And knows when and how to leave me alone to recover from what Patient Colleague calls Liturgical Affective Disorder. So today, I am going to stop thinking, remind myself my feelings are not the only truth in the world, and read a book that will make me laugh. And be so so grateful!