Because life has got complex (I may have said yes to too many undertakings) I decided the time had finally come to listen to the advice that many many people have given me over the years, and set myself up a to-do list pattern that is more than just a scrap of paper which then gets lost.
So, I took some advice, and have got myself an app (how up to date am I!?!) and a whatever it is that is the equivalent on the computer, so that I can sync the two, and keep a running note of the various tasks and projects that I delight to be involved with, without the ongoing anxiety that I have forgotten something.
I was promised this would make my life easier; the app even comes with the strapline “lower your anxiety, raise your productivity”. Not too worried about eh productivity bit, but lowering the anxiety about what I might have forgotten, when things are due, and how I am going to prioritise sounded good.
And yes – you can see where this is going…
It may be that it is just going to take me time to get used to it, and develop the skill to use it all, and I am prepared to give it (some) time. After all, this is a radically new departure for me.
But I have to say that, so far, the anxiety caused – partly by seeing it all laid out in neatly tabulated form, partly by the fact that it is on my phone, which means I can’t easily switch off from it, if I want to do other stuff, like send texts (this may be a flaw of my own making, it does have to be admitted), and partly because, as soon as I start listing things, I am overwhelmed by the anxiety that I have forgotten to put something on the list – the anxiety caused is greater than the anxiety I was feeling before.
To say nothing of the interesting and for a procrastinator, delightful – illusion that once something is on the list, it is magically done. And then the shock of realising that this is not in fact the case!
I will persevere. For a little while at least. But the gains had better start kicking in soon, or my natural antipathy to lists is going to be irresistible ! Watch this space…