Some days, it just doesn’t want to be writ! It’s in there, in my guts and my heart, but it won’t let itself be put into words, and onto the paper (well, screen)
And the harder I try, the more frustrated I get, And the more frustrated I get the harder it is to get to it. And then I panic, because if I can’t get it out of my heart and guts, then what use is it – and what will I say when I have to stand up in front of people.
And the more first drafts I abandon, the more despairing I become of ever getting it. And the less confidence I have that I even have an it to get to, much less the capacity to express it.
And I can grind somethign out, even of the required length. But there’s no life, there’s no passion (and ok, so I hardly ever express passion, but I need to know there’s passion there to get me up in front of people in the first place – why else would I dare stand there if not because I feel passionately about whatever it is)
But today, it simply won’t get writ. And I don’t know what to do….